will

there was a picture that was supposed to go with this post, but when i got home from scanning it i realized i saved it in the wrong format. i couldn't even open it on my computer. i'll post it later on.

today is another one of those special days in my life. it would have been my little brother's 25th birthday! that sounds so old for a little guy that had such a rough life.

will was with us for 20 years. he passed away 3 1/2 months shy of his 21st birthday. he had a brain bleed at birth resulting in lack of oxygen to the brain, and was later diagnosed with cerebral palsy, along with a host of other issues. my parents didn't know all this until he was about 6 months old. pretty scary huh? especially now that i have an 8 month old. it puts a lot into perspective.

little will, bill, buster, as we liked to call him, was the light of our life! he may have been legally blind, unable to walk or talk, feed himself or do anything at all for himself, but he was like an angel sent from heaven. because of my parents diligence, he was able to say "hi", "dada", and even blow kisses. it was the sweetest thing you would have ever seen.

doctors said will wouldn't live to be 3, then 7, then 11, and then they just stopped guessing. he proved them all wrong and was with us for 20 years! what a blessing he was to my life. i sure do miss him.

i miss holding his little soft hand, and laying in the bed with him for hours on end watching the price is right. i miss getting him off the school bus when they would drop him off at the house. i miss how excited he would get when my mom would say that she was going to take him for a ride in the van, or when he knew we were in the room with him. looking back it feels like such a dream that he was in my life. i have visions of if he was still with us today. i would have laid little webb up in that big ole hospital bed with him and they would have had the best time. i would have been in there too!

well now that i am dripping tears on my keyboard, i think i'm gonna have to close this one up. i don't cry about will like i do about my mom. i think it's because we mourned will's death before it ever happened. we knew he could never be like us, and that his life would end sooner than the rest of ours. i'm so thankful that he never was like us.

i loved him just the way he was.