staying present

for the life of me i cannot "live for today", "live in the moment", "stay present".
i face the battle every. single. day.
in my head i say over and over,
"take a deep breath, enjoy this moment! FORGET the mess, what others may think, & what i think i should be doing!"

i can tell the Lord is working on me.
every time i pick up a devotional it's about living for today, our time is fleeting.
sunday school, talks with casey ... it's all about forget what doesn't matter.
"don't sweat the small stuff", "the language of letting go" ... these were some of the books i saw my parents read.
what does that tell ya??

i feel like if anyone should "get" this it's me.
but it's still SO hard.
as a planner and controller ... there's so much i want (really, i think i want) to accomplish in a day to feel, ... accomplished!
but accomplished for what?? for who? it's only for me.

everyday is a day to learn, to change and to make the choice to live in the present.
with lots of pain and suffering going on with family and friends right now ... that's what's on my heart today.

yesterday, townes turning 4 months was on my mind.
he had a great check up at the doctor, weighs almost 13 pounds and has been given the green light to start eating.
here we go!

i can't express how much joy this little guy brings to me.
he's so happy, so content and so sweet.
i feel so blessed by these boys.
their health, their smiles ...
i will admit it's been hard for me to accept these blessings of health and happiness.
i can only guess it's hard because i've lost loved ones during my lifetime and because of struggles i see others facing.
what a miracle these boys are.

grandaddy mike, mitsy and gracie have been visiting lots lately.
it's been so much fun and brightened some of my long days.
i'm so thankful they live so close.

and lizzie has been stopping by too!

my prayer for today comes from this great proverbs 31 email devotional.
if you don't subscribe to it, you should!
(p.s. - it's a women's devotional)
it continues to hit home with me everyday.
thanks amanda :)

Dear Lord, only You know how many breaths I have.
Please help me use my time wisely, and invest it in the people and things that matter most.
Help me consciously plan time for myself, my family and my faith.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.