will

i can't believe it's been 7 years since my little brother passed away.
today was the day that we said our final goodbye to him.
often when i think about will i feel like it is a dream that i just made up in my head.
not many people have to watch suffering everyday, especially as a child.
but for some reason it was what the Lord had in store for our family.
as i did a little bible study this morning i'm reminded of why the Lord brought will into our life.
so that we could learn to have faith.
faith that the Lord was walking along side us, faith that the Lord would heal, faith to believe that there was a reason he brought this little guy into our life.

i wish so much that my mother was here to tell me the stories of how she gained so much patience.
though in reality i know the answer.
lots and lots of prayer. lots and lots of time reading the Bible.
it's when i think of her that i feel an unmeasurable amount of guilt about the lack of patience i have with my own son, who is perfectly healthy.
i tell ya, this world is such a tough place to live!
priorities are always out of wack, our focus is on the things that never matter the most.
at least that's the way it is for me.

today i am thankful for the 20 years of life that i shared with my little brother.
i'm grateful that the Lord blessed us with an angel to show us where our focus should be, though it isn't always.
will helped me see that God is in control and we have to trust in Him.
and that we must believe that the Lords plan for our life is the best plan.

this week always kicks off a couple of months of heartache in the costello family.
from will to the holidays then mom then mom and will's birthday in february.
it's an emotional doozie!
of course it's gotten better over the years.
time does help heal things ... if you've dealt with them that is!

it's the biggest blessing to have this little baby boy coming in the midst of all this time of remembrance.
i'm so thankful for the joy that he will bring to each of our holidays.
the celebration of new life!
it really is such a gift and i know the Lord planned it to be exactly that way!