yesterday ...

was a pretty good day.
a little tough, but pretty good.

it was the 9 year anniversary of when my mom passed away.
usually the days leading up to the day are a little harder than the actual day itself.
i start thinking about the last time i saw her, the phone call i got from dad, and her funeral.
and then all the crazy years after.
you know, it's just a big ole flood of emotion really!

the most amazing thing to me about this time are the people that remember.
there's only a few, but those few have made such an impact on my life.
just by thinking about me.

as i've gotten older and life situations have changed
i always think i've figured out a few more reasons why she's no longer around.
you know, what the Lord wants me to take away from it all.
lately it's been about the love of a mother for her children.
you can never fully grasp it until you have a child of your own.
i never knew the endless love my mom had for me and my brothers until i had webb.
how much she taught us, encouraged us, and set such a wonderful example for us to follow.

last night reg and al came over and we started a new tradition.
we had dinner, ate mrs. smith's blackberry cobbler with ice cream (which was mom's favorite)
and told stories about her.

though i wish so badly that my mom were still here today,
i'm so thankful for all that i remember about her and that i know one day i'll see her again.
... to me, that is the best part!

911 ... really?

i'll set the scene.
it's 9:10 a.m. and i've loaded webb in the car.
he hasn't been loving his car seat lately so he's holding my keys.
webb's fastened in his car seat ... check
diaper bag, purse, and bible for bible study are in the car ... check
just need to run in and grab my water and we're off to church.

i close webb's door and the passenger door, where i always set my things,
walk towards the house and see the scariest thing i may have ever seen.
the tail lights flash.

yep, webb has locked himself in the car.

i stood stunned at the back door having no idea what to do.
my eyes start to well up with tears.
my cell phone is in the car with boo, and no, we don't have a spare key.

my brain immediately raced back to a conversation i had with casey earlier this morning.
he was leaving for work, had placed his new ginourmous work cell phone (i've forgotten to mention that he got a new job!) in his pocket and looked at me all confused wondering what he should do with his "old" cell phone.
he said he usually leaves it in the car half the time anyways, so i told him to leave it at home.
i'd let him know if someone called.

now that is what i call a God thing if i've ever seen one!

i tried casey and couldn't get a hold of him, then i called regan, and then allison.
i couldn't get anyone on the phone and needed someone to tell me what to do!
all i could think about was how i didn't want some freak locksmith at my house breaking my child out of my car.
so i went to the better business bureau website.

i mean, is that what you would do if your 16 month old was locked in the car?? hardly!
the first one i called said it would take 25 minutes to get to me.
praise Jesus regan called me back and said he would start calling around to other locksmith.
then he found out ... call 911! really?? did i really not know to do that??
i think of all those ads "is this really an emergency?" if not, hang up.

yes, it was an emergency, but thankfully webb was strapped into his carseat and it was 60 degrees outside.
God is on my side! (to quote one of my favorite songs)

as the story goes ...
not 1, not 2, but 3 policemen arrived within 5 minutes and they waited with me until their locksmith decided to show. between that time we shared lots of stories about the joys of parenting, they explained their strategy for how they would break into my car had it been 90 degrees outside, and allison, my sister-in-law, stopped by to give me a much needed hug.

all in all i would say the boo was a prisoner of the lexus for 45 minutes.
he did pretty good with a few outbursts.
the first 20 minutes i tried to convince him to click the unlock button.
he was chewing away on that clicker but he never would bite down on that one button ...

when i emailed my dad earlier to tell him what happened, his response:
"well nancy! like mother, like daughter"

i have to admit, it made me smile.

recovered

i think i've finally recovered from last weekend. and, i'm not talking about this past weekend ... i'm talking about the weekend before that. what a weekend it was.

before leaving nashville for my high school reunion, which i had been anxiously awaiting, i found out that my me-me went home to be with the lord. it was a long weekend in chattanooga.

the high school reunion was so much better than i could have ever imagined. i was surprised by how many people from our class didn't show. it made me question why i was there, but i'm so glad i went! here are a few pics from the night.

april, me, and ericka

(april and i have known each other since elementary and ericka and i danced in terpsichord together ... you know how much i loved my terpsichord days!)

those that came ... i'm in the front row

so that was saturday, then sunday was me-me's visitation and monday was the funeral. it definitely brought back lots of old emotions. i couldn't have done it without casey, reg and al, and dad and mitsy. webb was wearing me down. and to think i thought it was because he had gotten spoiled ... i took him to the doctor when we got back to nashville and he had an ear infection. poor little guy! i told him i was sorry.

so that is what i was doing last week ... recovering. i was emotionally spent by the time we got back home.

thanks for your prayers!

mom and will

thanks to my graphic designer friend, emelie, here's the picture i was telling you about earlier.

i have this picture in my kitchen.

it makes me feel like mom and will are always right there with me!

it was probably taken 10 years ago.

foodie friday

since it's valentine's day, i feel that a c-h-o-c-o-l-a-t-e recipe is a must!

i know, i'm trying to make better decisions about eating, but who can resist the big "c" on vday?

so here's another one of nancy's favorites, that's my mom, and it's a southern one for sure.

i've made this a couple of times lately.

the first time it was divine, and the second a little too gooey for my taste.

but still oh so yummy!

fudge pie

4 T. flour (i've even used wheat - you wouldn't know the difference)

2 eggs

1 stick of butter

4 T. cocoa

1 cup sugar

pinch of salt

1 t. vanilla

frozen pie crust

melt butter and mix with other ingredients. pour into frozen pie crust and bake on 325 for 25 minutes. i like mine better when cooked about 40 minutes. just make sure when a knife is inserted that it comes out clean. top of pie should look like a brownie. best served with ice cream or a good cup of coffee when it's snowing! ... i know, i'm not supposed to be having that either.

happy birthday to you!

happy birthday lennon!

lennon is casey's younger brother.
one of my favorite memories of lennon was the day he came to visit webb in the nicu and he brought his muhammad ali poster (you can see it in the picture below).
we hung it in webb's room as a reminder that webb was a fighter ... and boy was he ever!
he fought like a champ those 3 weeks in the nicu and hasn't looked back!

lennon hope you have a great birthday. thanks for always seeing the positive side of life!

there's one more birthday i have to mention today ... it's my moms.
she would have been 56.
whew ... february is a tough month!
i've been meaning to scan some pictures of her so i could post them.
i'll work on that next week.

p.s. - i'm a bit behind on last week's motivate me monday ... recap is coming tomorrow.

honey

it was around this time of day 8 years ago that my mom went home to be with the lord. i still get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. remembering her on this day these past couple of years has seemed fairly easy, compared to years past. but for some reason, today doesn't seem that way. i think it's because i have webb now. it reminds me just how much i want her to be here to love on my son. she would be so proud of him and adore him so much. it breaks my heart that i'll never get to see what that would have looked like.

everyone always laughed at how much she said "honey". i remember how she once mentioned she wanted her grandkids to call her that someday. i can't wait to tell webb all about her. i know he'll wish she would have been around a little bit longer too. but it's my greatest joy to know that one day we will see her again.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.
- amazing grace

foodie friday

(photo from smittenkitchen.com)

for christmas i gave my sister-in-law a cookbook of all my mom's favorite recipes. she and my brother had found my mom's recipe box after about 5 years of me thinking we never would.

my mom loved dessert and the recipes in the box proved that. i came across one that i had completely forgotten about and it was one of the first desserts mom taught me how to make. it comes from the chattanooga junior league cookbook from the 80's.

cream cheese pound cake

1 1/2 cups butter, softened

8 oz. cream cheese, softened

3 cups sugar

6 eggs, seperated

3 cups all-purpose flour

1 t. vanilla

1/4 t. almond extract

2 T. powdered sugar

preheat oven to 350. butter and flour 10 inch tube pan and set aside. cream butter with cream cheese until smooth. add sugar and beat until light and fluffy. add egg yolks one at a time beating well after each addition. add flour 1 cup at a time. when completely blended stir in flavorings.

in seperate bowl, beat egg whites until stiff peaks form; fold into batter. spoon into prepared pan and bake at least 1 hour, or until knife inserted in middle comes out clean. sprinkle with powdered sugar. the cake is better when prepared the day before serving.

in the summertime we loved to serve with homemade vanilla ice cream. mmmm!

holiday tidbits

we're getting back into the swing of things and i just downloaded over 200 pictures from the past week! can't miss out on one photo op when it comes to a first christmas! here are some highlights ...

webb and gracie the pug get ready for their 1st christmas

webb's christmas outfit that i hemmed myself and moved the buttons on ... cheers to me!

i got a jogging stroller!

webb's first christmas gift. his own bible with his name on it.

webb and his granddaddy on christmas morning

let's just say that i cried a lot this christmas! reg and al framed a picture of me next to my mom on our wedding days. little did i know that they had my photographer pose me the exact same way as my mom was in her wedding picture. casey came up with the quote that is engraved on the frame. it says "a mother's beauty never dies forever shining through her daughter's eyes"

my mom's family, the webbs. who big boo was named after!

first night in cashiers

the pizza place in highlands

webb sporting his favorite hat at buck's coffee shop

i'll say good night and happy new years on this note ... for those of you who won't believe me ... i did indeed purchase these glasses.

special weekend

this past weekend webb was baptized. it was such a special day. our family was there and two of my mom's very dear friends were there as well. webb wore the gown we had made from my mom's wedding dress and i couldn't have been more pleased with how it turned out. i felt like she was there with us!

here are a few pictures from the webb's big day.

Favorite Thanksgiving Recipes

(photo from countryliving.com)

My absolute favorite memory of the holidays as a child, really teenager, is cooking with my mom. I love to cook. My mom enjoyed cooking, but I wouldn't say that she loved it. She was a great southern cook though.

I remember standing right under her as she made the cornbread dressing and pecan pie every Thanksgiving. Those were always the dishes that I wanted her to show me how she made them. For years after she passed I was so sad at the holidays because I couldn't find the recipes for these favorite dishes...until a couple of years ago. It fills my heart to know that I can now make these dishes for years to come and always remember those days in our kitchen on Mississippi Avenue.

Here are my favorite Thanksgiving recipes:

Cornbread Dressing
Make homemade cornbread from self-rising cornmeal package
(Make sure the recipe you use contains 2 cups cornmeal)
Crumble cornbread once cooled

Saute 1 large onion, chopped, in 1 stick of butter until soft

In large mixing bowl mix ...
Crumbled cornbread
1 egg
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 can cream of celery soup
1 can chicken broth
1 t. poultry seasoning
1 t. sage
salt and pepper to taste
melted butter and onion

Pour into 9x13 baking dish. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes until brown and firm. Soooo yummy!

Pecan Pie
Pillsbury Pie Crust
1 cup light corn syrup (Karo)
1 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup melted butter
3 eggs
dash of vanilla
pinch of salt
about 1 cup chopped pecans

Stir all ingredients together in a bowl. Pour into unbaked pie crust and bake on 350 for 45 minutes. Serve a la mode!

Hope you enjoy my favorite family recipes this holiday season!

It was bound to happen

So this morning I realized that I 've become my mother. Well, I guess I've realized it for a while now. The difference in my situation than most is that my mom is no longer around. She passed away when I was just 19. She had a very rare form of cancer that took her from us in exactly 14 months, just as the doctors said it would.

The mom I remember is from my teen years really, since she got sick my freshman year of college. I've always been sad that I've never gotten to do grown up things with my mom like my friends have done with theirs. We never got to plan my wedding, decorate my first house, or even have a glass of wine together. My mom loved some vino!

So the reason I tell you that I've become my mother is really a funny one. At about the crack of dawn this morning, after feeding Webb and making breakfast for my husband, I started dancing. Dancing around the kitchen that is. When I say dancing, I mean like tap dancing. Sometimes I don't think Casey, that's my husband, knows what to think of me. When I realized what I was doing I had a flashback to a Sunday afternoon in my childhood. We had just gotten home from church. My dad had gone to change out of his church clothes and my brother was outside probably stirring up trouble. My mom and I were in the kitchen, just talking. She was standing in the center of the kitchen and I was sitting at the bar. I think she thought she was on stage, and she just started dancing. Why? Because she loved her life. She loved her husband and her children and the Lord. Though she had a tough life, she was so happy.

My mom may be gone, but the memories I have of her are so clear at times. I realize as I have gotten older that I really only knew her for a short time. Thankfully it was long enough to know who she was and what brought her so much joy. It was definitely long enough to know that I am my mother's daughter.